She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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