4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
