i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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