my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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