I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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