party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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