he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
