Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
