the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Congratulations! We have a period
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
