you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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