I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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