you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I understand Curling. That high.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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