I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
