covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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