Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it because I queefed?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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