I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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