If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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