Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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