He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
