i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
