Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
