you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
