so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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