I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
