and i looked up. we had an audience...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
