is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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