I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
