I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
