you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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