glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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