just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
