its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
