Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
