i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
