its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
