Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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