I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
