I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
