my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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