It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
