i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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