this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize