I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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