yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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