I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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