No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
