I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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