Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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