I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he thought i was a dude.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
