You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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