Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
