she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
