yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
FUCK WHALES
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
