I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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