you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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