It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
