The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
