I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
