with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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