Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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