I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
