It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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