"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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